My life is falling apart and I can’t do anything to stop it. Damn it. There’s like something that feels like it’s weighing me down and no matter what I say or what I do, everything’s a duty. Writing my life down, schoolwork, and friends, even sometimes reading. I’m really to the point where I think I may have another breakdown. Its gotten so bad, I don’t even want to talk anymore.
I discovered these feelings in Psychology today, when one of my friends was playing with me, and guess what? I just wanted to be alone and isolated from rest of the group. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes people look for me for guidance, and I can’t offer it to them, even if I want to, because I’m holding myself down.

Am I seriously depressed? I’m constantly wondering if I belong anywhere, but I hardly let anyone else know it. People say I should talk to them, but exactly how can I talk to them, when I can barely if at all put it into written/typed words? I’m to the point where I just don’t care what happens next. I don’t care if my family died; I don’t care if my friends died (no offense).

I’m angry all the time and I don’t understand why. I’ve tried running away twice, and maybe next if I try again, I’ll actually get away. I can’t take my parents of my sister because they are constantly on me about something no matter how big or small it is. This is the most truthful I’ve been with my self for a long time, too long to count.

I don’t want to hurt people I just want to be left alone in my own little world. I’m not sure what that’ll accomplish, but it has to be better than what I am in now, just about anything is. People get excited for the littlest things, and I’m afraid that just isn’t happening for me. I dread going home, I dread the Internet, but yet I can’t stay away.

I just don’t know anymore.


I’m sorry not for blogging, but I’ve been really busy. Last Friday my mom went into the hospital (which no one bothered to tell me until after I got off of school. I didn’t even know until my dad told me he needed a ride to the hospital, of course, when I asked over the phone he wouldn’t tell me.
It really sucked because I also had my friend there, and I had to take her with me to the hospital. I know I may sound like a mean person, but I didn’t visit my mom until the next morning, because, well, I don’t know. After I dropped my dad off, I went to my friend’s house and we went and saw Taxi.

The next morning, I got up, went home, took a shower, and then went to the hospital, where my mom was waiting to get discharged. My aunt showed up (the one I like) and we went to Wal-Mart and got my mom some clothes that wouldn’t hurt her. After that I went and got on the computer, downloaded two songs that took over three hours to download for my cousin, then went to his birthday party.

There were a bunch of people whom I didn’t and still don’t like, but I put up with them for the sake of my cousin. Jonathan McQueen arrived, and about fifteen minutes after he arrived, I left, I can’t stand to be around that jerk! Freaking idiot, I swear he is.

Monday I obviously went to school did nothing, Tuesday, I went and saw Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence, and then came home. There was a movie in the previews at the movie theater, and the movie was called House of Flying Daggers, and I’m just dying to see it! Of course, it won’t be released at Legacy (dumbass Alan).

Then finally today I obviously went to school and then went for a job interview at Kroger and got the Cashier position! I’ll be making $6.60 and hour! Isn’t that great? It’s like a dollar and some cents above minimum wage! That’s all that’s happened to me between Friday and today! I plan on a new layout soon.


RMAO! Read this… Apparently a guy cut his genitals off by mistake, how do you do that? How can you mistake it for a chicken’s neck? That’s just too funny for anybody. How can someone be that dumb? No one will be able to live up to that guy’s expectation of idiotic, for he is the best of idiotic things. But people always do prove me wrong, there probably is someone in this world who can do something that dumb.
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
That’s kind of funny, my friend sent me a site ( click here ), and its really funny. Go visit it, and laught at it to.
John started to ask “confessional” questions to Creena and myself, here’s the conversation, please don’t laugh, we are in fact real human beings with the ability to make each others lives hell ( = have a nice day).

John: 1. Are you gay/bisexual?
John: no
Me: No
Creena: no.
John: 2. Have you watched porn EVER?
Me: No
John: yes, accidentaly
Creena: no
Creena: xD lol john
Me: …
Me: John’s a prevert!
Creena: lol
John: you know how popups are
Me: yeah, that’s what you say
Creena: Thats what all guys say


A lot of people don’t seem to like this layout very much, I’ve got two words for you: screw you.
Once more again, we have a brand new layout! Can you believe it? My next entry and I already have a new layout! I don’t think that’s really exciting, but who cares.

If you didn’t notice I added an question box where you can ask me questions, and if you scroll down to the domain section on the navigation bar, you’ll also notice there is a link after it (more) and if you click on that, you’ll learn more about the history of hateyourway!

Nothing else has happened lately, I’ve been reading, doing homework, running errands things like that. I haven’t seen Ladder 49 yet, but I’m working on it. I have no one to go with, everyone keeps making excuses why they can’t go, and it makes me sad. Anyway just thought I’d point the obvious out! Have a great day!