Never Realized

How depressing my life is. After reflecting for only about 20 minutes, I realized something, I really have no friends, no social life, no boyfriend. All I do is live and breathe my work, dog, and sleep. So with that being said, I never go out on the weekends which leads back to how can I have a social life is A) no one wants to go out with me, B) if I don’t go out, how can I meet someone and C) I’m just plain boring.

Now with all that stated, I think tomorrow night or the night afterwards (hopefully tomorrow night) I’ll take a risk and throw myself out there. Specifically to a guy that I like, that comes into work quite a bit shipping stuff for his work. I have no idea if he has a girlfriend (we are friends on facebook), so there’s no status stating that, no cutsy comments from him to a girl, but there are comments (back at the beginning of September from a girl though). Which leads me to think that they are on the rocks (and he’s thinking about breaking up with her) or he doesn’t want anyone to know.

Just like Friday, he came in with a damaged box and had to go back to work and repack it, then he came back to drop it off, and when he did, he ended staying here for almost two hours talking to me. He’s gotta have some sort of interest in me, right? This is the problem, I’m not very good with guys at all, and I’m not the most attractive (body wise).

I have low self-esteem and hate everything that goes through my mind debating whether or not he has a girlfriend and trying to place all these clues together, but instead of wondering, I will just ask him, and like normal get disappointed.

I am dead to the world of love, even though I like him, and think that we have quite a bit in common, I’m not giddy, or super-excited like I used to get over guys, now it’s kind of just like, oh yeah…if he doesn’t have a girlfriend, woo! If he does, then oh well, continue being friends with him.

Life certainly sucks sometimes. I only have one friend that I really talk to other than people at work, how sad is that? But at the same time I put myself in that position. My social life includes the following: xbox with some people online that I’ve never met in person, netflix (watching movies), sleeping, or designing on the computer.

I am starting back to college in January and am looking forward to it, maybe I’ll meet some cool people there, and maybe I’ll just keep to myself like I normally do. =[

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *