My Soul Yearns…

[Edit] I apologize if the site has been running slow for some, it seems that several wordpress plugins are to blame for that. Hopefully it is taken care of, and not part of a larger issue.

Someone would have thought I would’ve learned by now not to listen to my heart. The damn thing keeps wanting to tell me I’m in love. Yet, I’ve seen it so many times in the past and to have had doubts [each time] but still I thought my heart was right, thus is has always prevailed over any kind of logic my mind could come up with.

Now….is it different? I know what my heart says, and I know what my mind says, they are at war with each other, thus logic is prevailing in this, and my heart must be constrained and withheld from any declarations [right now].

What if I don’t? What if I don’t this time around? The problem is that this time I think is different…I don’t have any doubts, and that scares me, it terrifies me beyond belief. What are you doing, Megan? Why do you keep doing this? Why?

I would always try to see myself with that person, and thinking about every relationship I’ve been in, I’ve known that it wouldn’t go anywhere, and it hasn’t like predicted. But why now? After the hurt…the pain…so many conflicted emotions, why do you still believe in love?

Why haven’t you given up yet? Why haven’t you realized…there is no happiness for you?

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