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So I’ve done a lot of work on this site, within a certain amount of time, surprisingly. I still have a very long way to go with FanUpdate, because I’m not quite done, and the new version is a little more complex than the past versions I’ve worked with.

So I met this guy…it seems like awhile ago, but I don’t know if it has been or not, but he’s amazing, and not too mention a cutie! We have so much in common that it’s surreal, and he calls me beautiful =]. That makes me very happy! So of course, I met him off of eHarmony, but it’s not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.

It’s doing good for me =D! David and I are suppose to meet this Monday (or Tuesday, or both, lol), and I’m super super nervous.

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So there’s this guy, he’s amazing, wonderful, and caring. Patrick Meeks, he’s amazing, and everyday he’ll do something more to prove it to me. I think he might be the one, but it’s too early since we are both so young. I love being around him and talking to him.

I even love his family, even though he hasn’t met all of mine yet, including my parents (). He treats everyone in my family with respect that he’s met so far, and they all like him. Everyone keeps telling me I need to “train” him, there isn’t anything to train. He tells his opinion like he should, loves me and laughs with/at me (lol). I thought I’d never find someone who feels so greatly about me, but I did, and I feel the same way about him.

We have different opinions on a lot of stuff, but we work through whatever the problem is and I’d like to think it makes us both better. At the beginning it was a hell of a bumpy ride cause I wasn’t use to a lot of things, but he helped me adjust, and he was always willing to talk about it. <3

He's always there for other people no matter what he wants. I'm really not into all this mushy stuff, but with him it's different, and I love him.

Patrick's best friend, Rick is dating my best friend, Noel, and there was a incident, where Rick hit Noel (not hard, but enough she busted her lip), and even though Patrick and Noel don't like each other, Patrick went to her defense (and yes I was there). Patrick pulled Rick off of Noel and threw him into another room, and I dealt with Noel.

Patrick hates seeing women cry, he feels bad, he despises men who hit women, and he hates cheaters.

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CNN – Slaughter house.

Yes, finally! They have banned sick or downer cows from being slaughtered! Finally, the government is taking charge. I made an entry bout it in the past, click here for it. It’s about a slaughter house that was video taped abusing cows just to get them off the ground because they were either sick or downers.

I’m glad something is finally being done!!!!

[Edit] We’ve landed on Mars! We’ve successed! We’ve passed the 7 minutes of terror! Woot Woot, and the pictures are breathtaking! [/Edit]

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A lot has happened since I’ve been gone or rather busy with my off line life. There’s this guy at work named Patrick and he likes me. He’s Noel’s boyfriend’s best friend, and he’s amazing. Now before you go and judge people let me remind you just because something happened in their past doesn’t change anything or define them.

He dropped out of high school about two and a half hours ago, and downfall, you are now wondering what do I, a college girl, see in him? I will tell you right now, he’s intelligent, he outsmarted me in politics and when I get started on politics, it’s hard to best me; except when Cassidy is involved, lol. He’s very quick to pick up on things, he knows when something is wrong, just like I know when something is wrong with him.

He’s originally from Georgia and moved up here and is living with one of his aunts. Trust me when I say this, Patrick is a gentleman, even though he may look like he’s ghetto or even act like it (which he claims it’s who he is), but he knows how to treat a woman, which is more than I can say for most guys.

He opens doors, hugs me, sends me text’s, comes in looking for me at work, he wants me to spend time with him. At first I wasn’t too sure because honestly, my parents probably wouldn’t approve of him, but then I told Cassidy, that what am I doing? My parents or anybody in my family is not going to date him, I am. He told me that he’s done all the work for his GED, he just has to take the test. With a little encouragement, I can push him to do it.

His uncle came into work today, he stopped and asked me if I was Megan, and I had told him yes. He told me that he believed Patrick really liked me and the ghetto thing was just an act. Patrick may claim that it is not an act, but the way he treats me and the way he acts are two separate things.

He sent me a text because he thought I was hesitate to date him, and honestly I was and still am. I will not lie when I say I value my parents opinion because they are suppose to know best for their children, right? But I told him I was nervous and I didn’t know how my family would think or react because they would judge him without a second thought.

Oh, he’s a high school dropout?
So what? Just because you drop out of high school doesn’t mean you aren’t capable or lower than anyone else. Why do you always feel the need to pick out the negative? He’s a very smart, quick-witted man.

Wow, Megan, you picked a winner.
You’ll sit there and tell me I picked a winner, but yet pot calling the kettle black. I hate to use this, but it’s true. I mean seriously, a guy like this is hard to find and harder to let go….

Are you going to turn this one gay?
Trust me, he’s not swinging that way.

What is it with you girls picking these losers?
You ask why I am doing this, but this is EXACTLY what my family will say to me. And how am I suppose to react to this? I’m sorry that you think he’s a loser, good thing you aren’t going to date him then.

Just get rid of him, he’s a freeloader.
Boy, have my sister and I heard this so many times before. And I’m sorry Amber that I did the same thing to Brian and you, but now I understand why. He’s not a freeloader, he busts’ his ass, he works harder than anyone I know there. He can work four departments at the same time, and have no problems, except him complaining he’s tired, lol.

He knows how to make me laugh, make me want to cry, make me want to kiss him. I am a virgin, but in reality, I can’t stay one forever, and if I had one person in my entire life I’d give it up too, it’d be this man right there. He actually cares about what I want, he listens to me just ramble all day long about petty shit, but still he does. I told him I was nervous about everything, and taking our relationship to the next step, he said he understood, and he told me to set the pace of the relationship.

He told me if he does something I feel uncomfortable with or says something I’m uncomfortable with, just to tell him and he’d quit. I believe him when he said that. He told me he was happy that I am the first good woman he has ever talked too. How am I suppose to react to that? It breaks my heart but sends it racing. He thinks I’m pretty and he encourages me, even when I don’t believe in myself. To say I am in love is a strong word, but he’s amazing, and I don’t deserve him.

Plus I already have the approval of one of his aunt’s because I work with her , which is always an added place. Apparently he talks about me all the time and when his friends get tired of hearing about me, I know I’ll have him for as long as I can.

He tolerates my quirks, everything that makes me; me, maybe even embraces them. I am proud to say I don’t truly know him and to say I do, is me being naive and I’m trying not to be in this situation.

I am even attracted to him, we always share sexual innuendos, which is certainly not bad, and I even told him, I am a virgin, but I am willing with him, then he told me we can take everything as slow as I want it to go. For any person to say anything like that, it takes a real person, a real man who would actually consider someone else’s feelings.

What if he is just trying to get into your pants?
If he was he would have ditched me a long time ago because I’m not going to give up my virginity that easily. I have some sort of standard and morals concerning my virginity, and he understands that.

I like him, I really do.

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So I think that with my next bonus check (coming in about a month of so), that I am going to buy a Nintendo Wii. The Wii’s on eBay are too expensive because the stores are lacking them. However, one of my bosses said that she would be willing to help me track a Wii down, and just to let her know when.

So when I get my bonus check, we’ll look up by stores and see who has one and have them put one back for me (even though they aren’t suppose too).

I’ve seen Corey lately, but I haven’t really talked to him at all. He and Joanie were walking in from break the other day and he kept looking at me, and Joanie obviously spotted me so she gave me the dirtest look that she could. It really pissed me off , but they came in holding hands and then stopped before they actually hit the front end.

Corey knows how much I like him and how much it hurts me to see them together, but oh well, there’s nothing I can do while they are dating. And I’m certainly not going to wait for him to break up with her, because I know that’s not exactly going to happen.

My knee seems to be getting worse, it hurts more and more, especially when I do a lot of walking. I think I have an ACL injury, and it especially hurts me when I am driving because it’s my right knee. Constantly lifting it and moving it, just kills it, but that’s another thing I can’t do anything about.

Oh and Dustin is really buffing up , the PT is really helping him. Hubba hubba, LOL! Hmmm, there seem to be a lot more guys in my life now, Dustin, Shawn, Ryan, Patrick, Rick, just to name a few. But if I had to go for any of the guys in that list, it’d probably either be Dustin or Ryan, however, Ryan has a girlfriend, oh well. Dustin is just like me, totally totally weird

Oh well, anyways, enough about guys, I’ve decided to close, Collective Designs, frankly because I’m just tired of working on it. If anyone would like to adopt it, please holler at me and I can show you the portion of the site that’s up and running to determine if you want it or not.

Oh and then with the remaining money of my bonus check I am going to have a stereo installed in my car, FINALLY! I finally just bought seat covers for it because I got tired of shit getting on my seats, so they should be here by next week. Yay! Over and out.

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He went back to her.

After everything…he went back. After everything, everything I did, and everyone else did for him. He went back to her, because she claims she’ll “change.” This hurts more than anything because Thursday I had told him that I liked him, and the next day he wants to make it work with her. How am I suppose to deal with that?

He knows how much I like him, and who was there for him when no one else would be? Me. Who did he call when he was upset? Me. He acts like it doesn’t even matter now, and that’s what upsets me. I put my ass on the line for him. I was the one who convinced Co-Erik not to fire him after he walked out (cause of her), I owe Erik huge for that, and now repaying us both back by getting back with her.

One of his friends said everything was his fault, that wasn’t true then, but it’s certainly true now because he know’s what she is capable of. I give them two weeks before the crap starts back up, but let me tell you what, no body wants to hear it now. He better not call or come crying to me because I won’t listen this time. He better not go to Paul or Matt, because they won’t listen either.

I’m just upset because he knows how much I like him, and he threw that away the next fucking day. How am I suppose to feel? Betrayed, angry, upset… They deserve each other now, he screwed himself.

I just can’t understand, why? Is the sex good or something because she lack’s everything else especially personality wise. She’s a spoiled little brat, and HE even said that, so why is he going back?

Is this what I get for pouring my heart out? Telling him everything? I feel so…betrayed and hurt…

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I’m extremely sorry for the downtime that was experienced, I just did not have the money at the time to pay my bill (and I have paid it now). Anyway, a lot has happened since the last entry (obviously), but I’m really hurt.

I really really like Corey, like I’ve never liked anyone before, and he’s thinking about going back to Joanie! After all the shit she pulled all the trouble she put him through, and he’s thinking about going back. So, I have to make a decision. Tell him I like him and wait for the rejection, or sit by and do nothing while he gets back with Joanie.

I feel like crying because he’s a good guy and doesn’t deserve any of that shit, what’s going to stop her from doing everything again? I told him it’s only a matter of time before her old ways come back, and she’ll never change. She apparently said she’s willing to do anything to get back with him, and I guess has stopped talking to Trey and shit.

Why? Why dammit? Why does this shit have to happen to me, and especially since I know EVERYTHING in their relationship that has happened since the get-go. Does he really like her that much? Even after all the torment, making him sick, endless sleepless nights, almost making him quit and if it wasn’t for me, he would have! I fucking talked him out of it!

God, this just really sucks alot. And if I do tell him, I’ll be frank, simply, telling him that before I start I’m just going to walk away afterwards and not wait for a response and just tell him and walk away.

Dammit. He doesn’t deserve a bitch who follows him and harasses him at work, purposely waits till he goes to lunch so she can upset him so he can’t eat. Why the fuck would he want to go back to that?

[Edit] So Corey now knows that I like him, I mean really like him. I told him it hurts me to see what Joanie has done to him and him thinking about getting back with her. He understands, and he said he was really sorry for hurting me during the whole thing, and it wasn’t fair. But He didn’t say anything about me saying that I liked him, which I didn’t want him too so yay.

He’s still unsure of what he wants to do. I told him it just seems a little weird that she was being so evil to him and then a few days later will do anything for him. I told him it sounds like something is going on that neither of us know about, but I told him the decision was obviously up to him. I told him he was a genuine guy, and didn’t deserve that crap from her. So I guess we’ll see later what happens…. At least I didn’t get rejection [/Edit]

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So I honestly have no idea where to even start talking about what is currently going on in my life right now. Cat and Crystal at work pissed me off because they made it seem like it was a bad thing that I was still a virgin, they kept asking me questions and making comments about it.

Is our society so corrupt that to be a virgin is a bad thing or surprising to someone? People need to rethink their morals and values, I AM a virgin, and I proud of it damn it! I don’t want to hear about what I could be missing out on or such, because I have the rest of my fucking life to worry about that. I haven’t worried about it now, and I’m not going to start worrying now.

Oh and Trey is a fucking hypocrite. He claims he wants people to keep his name out of his mouth because he doesn’t want drama, but yet, he fucking goes and starts it himself. I should probably explain about it though.

Basically, I was on lunch and Corey was on break so we were sitting out in our cars, and he got out, and came over to my car and was talking to me about random shit, such as Joanie, our cars, our lives. Well, Trey, Adam, & Jon were standing by Adam’s car (probably bout 50-60 ft away), and so Corey finally said he’d better get back to work.

Well, about twenty minutes later I went back in to clock-in for work, and went around work like normal. So Corey’s going to lunc probably bout four or so, and he comes up to me and says he needs to talk to me. Apparently Trey fucking texted Joanie and said that Corey & I were dating, and so Joanie called Corey and BITCHED him out. That little bitch had the NERVE to even call him about it. I should also mention that Joanie and Corey broke up last week, so he’s NOT dating anyone. She fucking grilled him and finally he told her what does it matter? We aren’t dating!

Corey thought it was funny, but we had actually talked about it earlier, and he had wanted to avoid shit like this. He’s currently looking for a new job just so he doesn’t have to deal with Joanie and her shit. Man, what the hell was Trey thinking? Man, he doesn’t even know both sides of the story, yet he’ll go and start shit even though he wants when he’s involved.

Oh, and he came in later after Corey told me what happened, and I told him I wanted to talk to him, I think he knew I was pissed because I was. I was so mad I was shaking. I probably shouldn’t let myself get that bad though. Dammit. ><.

Corey is a nice guy, Joanie, so go fuck Trey.

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Goal: Pay off debts
Current Debt: $609

Today has been a good and bad today together. Let’s start with the bad! Because the good is so much better than the bad!

Cat kept pissing me off because she kept asking me to do stuff while I was trying to make a change order because we were out of one’s, and we had to get change soon! It was super busy, and Asst. Brian kept putting me on a register even though I had the board, which if Todd had been there, there would have been hell to pay.

Then Noel broke up with her boyfriend, Rick and Rick kept harassing her. I thought Rick at one point was going to hit her, but he didn’t. Thank god, I would have had to kick his ass. Which would have sucked, but would have been good at the same time.

Then Jessica Huston started shit with me and I was like bullshit we aren’t starting this. So I put an end to that pretty quickly.

Onto the good news! Woot Woot! Well Corey worked today, and he was up front for a little bit talking to Noel and I just about random shit. Then on lunch Corey and I talked a bit, which was good. He said that I have one of the best looking cars out there (in the parking lot), which made me happy.

Then he offered to help me modify my car should I choose too. He told me he could get a Viper alarm system, install a stereo system, and tint my windows. Which was cool because I do need the alarm, stereo and tint. Probably though the tint & stereo will come first. I bought a sub for it but I’ve still have to buy some more things to install the subwoofer.

Anyway, back on track! Later, probably about 6:30 or so, he was up front and he stopped and was talking to Patty and I, and he told me about the alarm system, and we were basically just talking about ourselves, like he lives in Shelbyville with his parents. Well, he said he’s kind of stressed out because his parents are planning on moving and they want him to come with them, but he doesn’t want too.

Plus he mentioned his girlfriend, Joanie, who works back in photolab. He says he likes her, but he’s not really sure where they are going because he said she’s turning 25 and acts like a 16 year old. I was good and didn’t say anything bad, but I told him he had to do what was best for him.

I know how that is, and trust me it is stressful. I know exactly what he’s going through because I just got out of it. But I think a friendship might be coming along !

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/Edit/ Fucking Skin scipt is breaking again, I don’t know what the hell is wrong so fuck it. I had to completely replace the skin script with another one. However, I’m just glad this one actually workes correctly. With a minor code adjustment. /Edit/

So I basically broke all my coding on this website, and had to go through each individual file to find out what I did. I accidentally updated a file that was suppose to be in another directory and it broke everything. I wasn’t exactly pleased and I was starting to get pissed off but oh well. It’s fixed and everything is back up now.

New Skin, just features a bunch of brushes that I had. I honestly couldn’t tell you where I got the brushes from, but if you know, please let me know. I’ve had that layout for awhile, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to use it plus I was too lazy to code it. Mwahahaha.

Song’s have been updated. Added about 5-10 songs to download. Links have also been updated, and will continue to be updated.

Nothing really much has happened lately, been working mostly. I still have to go drop my class tomorrow, which is what I’ll do. Blah. My sister is going to Kentucky to visit Kelly and I wish I could go, but I have to work Saturday so I can’t. Which honestly sucks a lot, because I’d love too, and see her baby!

But I think I’m going to go Fourth of July weekend with my sister down there. I’ve been playing Final Fantasy XII like crazy, so obviously expect a layout featuring the game pretty soon. It’s fun, but challenging at times.

Leah & I at work danced and got “Low” which was weird, but fun. We were laughing so hard, we couldn’t stop. Our legs hurt now because we went low and used muscles we didn’t even know we had.

Oh and I stopped being friends with Mary & Amanda. It’s hard, I’ll admit that, but I needed to do it anyway.

Every time we’d get together somehow one of them would start bitching about the other, and I felt like I was trying to be “turned” against the other one, and I don’t need that. Yes, they are my best friends, but even if they aren’t friends they can at least not bitch about each other and respect that.

I didn’t realize what was going on until recently so I told them I wanted to stop being friends. They both said they were hurt and didn’t understand why even after I explained it to them.

Basically, I went and talked to a therapist and sorted a lot of my issues out (yay!). Which includes the friend thing, I need people around me right now that will put me in a better mood not ready to kill someone.

Oh! Hot guy at work, his name is Corey, totally smokin’ hot! He’s dating one of the girl’s in Photo Lab which apparently she’s psycho and if she text’s or calls Corey he’s suppose to respond back ASAP and if not, she goes off on him.

He gave me a compliment about my toaster the other way! He asked me if that was my car and I told him yes, and he said he liked it, it looked good. I was like SWEET! ACTUALLY, it was more like, Oh thanks, I really like your car too. He has a Mitsubishi Ecplise and it’s a really nice looking car. I’d love to drive it, maybe I’ll ask him one day. Hmmm, who knows?